Football Poems & Jokes

POEMS | JOKES

POEMS

WHAT A LOAD OF RUBBISH!!!!

We couldn't dribble round opponents
The way we really should
So the boss came up with a good idea
I thought he damn well would

He bought eleven dustbins
And placed them on the ground
The idea was of course
For us to dribble round

In the firts minutes we scored a goal
The boss thought it was great
But when the final whistle went
We had lost by one to eight!

BLACKPOOL BANANA

At Bloomfield Road the battle raged
One down were Bally's men
With but three minutes yet to go
Looks bad indeed but then

A body swerve he beats his man
Then dummies to the right
Home strikers way is clear ahead
With naught but goal in sight

Bu no, what's this, in desperation
Defending sweeper strikes
The wretch, his task he seems to think
Sweep anything in sight

Down goes our deadly striker
Ignobly upended
A foot, mere foot outside the box
He must be reprimanded

Ref's whistle blows and yellow shown
Home crowd do rant and rale
"Off, Off" they shout with one accord
But all to no avail

The ref exceeding mad is he
A dressing down meets out
'One more like that M'Lad', he says
'You'll have an early shower'

The opposition's wall is built
With 'keeper's yelled instructions'
But standing six yards from the ball
The ref deems it obstruction

'Back Back' he shouts, 'back yet, back yet'
They grudgingly retreat
But still not satisfied, the ref
He paces out with feet

Eventually the wall backs off
On referee's insistance
Who will shoot, where will it go
And will he judge the distance

Banana shot superbly placed
Beyond the goali's reach
Curls round opponent's five man wall
And Blackpool draw, one each

A score draw, a score draw
I check my '8 from 10'
And thanks to that Banana shot
A first pool dividend!

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